YOU GOTTA LAUGH AT PERVERTS, HERESY AS MEANS TO SALVATION

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"Schismatic Self-Assessment Test." father celatus

 What's hysterically funny about the excommunication of the Society of St Pius X (SSPX) by the highly esteemed Cardinal Tucho Manuel Fernandez, Prefect of the Dicastery for the Faith but better known for his book "Heal Me With Your Mouth - the Art of Kissing" was the DDF's demand that the Society accept Vatican II's diktat of "Freedom of Religion". 

And because the Society wouldn't accept it, they were denied their "Freedom of Religion". They were excommunicated for practising the faith of their fathers. The anti-SSPX crowd - who might perhaps be accused by some (but not, heaven forfend) this writer - as being bitter and twisted, will be upset by that. They're not noted for a sense of humour. They will cry, "No! They were excommunicated because they wouldn't OBEY THE POPE!"  And that's amusing too, seeing as how the POPE has to be: a) adult b) male and c) Catholic.

What's funny also is that a certain Bishop Paprocki has accused the SSPX of being "basically another Protestant sect." It's funny to see this post-Vatican II American bishop calling the kettle black. And given the fact that Rome has excommunicated the SSPX for disavowing Vatican II (or whatever) isn't your video on X, your Excellency, very demeaning to the largest Christian denomination in the world (after the used-to-be Catholic Church)? 

What about us all being ONE, as he who is called Pope Leo has said? What's happened to that idea? Won't Dame Sarah Mullaly, Archbishopress of Canterbury - who surely would have thought, after her right royal reception at St Peter's Basilica, that Protestants must be held in the very highest regard by Rome - that coming from a fellow bishop, yours was a very hurty remark? Aren't you being a teeny bit schismatic, your Excellency? 

15 June 2026: the Holy Father appointed Rev Giuseppe Chang Yanfeng Bishop of Chifeng in Inner Mongolia, China - congratulated here by Cardinal Pietro Parolin

Now, we know how 'whataboutism' arguments are feared and detested by the anti-SSPX-ers, so in the interests of tact and unity and in the beautiful spirit of Vatican II we won't mention the way Latin Massgoers who now flat-out despise the Society flocked to their chapels during COVID, because NO churches and other Latin Mass churches were closed and locked. 

And then there's the way that @Pontifex has had to approve, post-facto, the consecration of a bishop in a church even faker than his own, by the Communist Party of China. Without a papal mandate, and in defiance of an agreed-upon protocol. But it's the Society of St Pius X that gets excommunicated.

Rome is a charade (pause for cries of 'schism!' and 'off with her head!'). The way obedience to perverts and heresy has become the means to salvation. The whole SSPX business is a farce and it helps to laugh at it. So please enjoy Father Celatus, courtesy of the Remnant Newspaper.

 

What happens when a diocesan priest takes Rome's SSPX excommunications at face value? He creates a tongue-in-cheek "Schismatic Self-Assessment Test" that places traditional Catholic answers side-by-side with today's ecclesiastical absurdities—and concludes that if loving Tradition is now grounds for excommunication, then the Vatican should add his name to the list.

 

One Old Testament story that children learn early and love much is Jonah and the Whale. The ancient city of Nineveh was religiously and morally corrupt and it was condemned to utter destruction with this ominous forewarning: “I shall not spare Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand persons that know not how to distinguish between their right hand and their left.”

 

What was said of ancient Nineveh can now be said of modernist Rome: they do not know their right hand from their left.

 

The moral and religious corruption of modernist Rome has been evident for decades and their canonical incompetence has been most recently revealed in their dubious SSPX excommunications.

 

Countless canonists who are not traditional Catholics have criticized and called into question the validity of the excommunications leveled against SSPX, especially regarding the laity who may adhere to SSPX.

 

In the face of canonical confusion, we offer the lay faithful this SSAT (Schismatic Self-Assessment Test):

 

How often do you attend an SSPX liturgy?

 

0 -What’s SSPX? What’s liturgy?
0 -I don’t go to Mass anymore
3 -Christmas and Easter only
4 -Occasionally, for sake of family
5 -Every Sunday and every Holy day

 

Were you married in an SSPX chapel?

 

0 -No. We chose cohabitation
0 -No. They don’t do same sex
0 -Cannot remember. Was drunk
4 -My fiancé made me go to SSPX
5 -Happily married in SSPX chapel

 

Have you ever confessed to an SSPX priest?

 

0 -No. Jesus is my only Lord and Savior
0 -1st confession was my last confession
0 -Never. Not even on my death bed
4 -For mortal sins and Easter duty

5 -Frequently or on a regular basis

 

Which of these catechisms do you use?

 

0 -Heal Me with Your Mouth (Fernandez)
0 -Hope: The Autobiography (Francis)
0 -Origin of the Species (Darwin)
5 -Catechism of Trent or Pope Pius X
5 -The Baltimore Catechism

 

What are your music preferences for Mass?

 

0 -The Saint Louis Jesuits
0 -Abba and The Beatles
0 -Piano and Guitar
5 -Organ and Scola
5 -Gregorian Chant

 

Which of these do you honor or venerate?

 

0 -Saint John XXIII
0 -Saint Paul VI
5 -Saint Pius V
5 -Saint Pius X
5 -Archbishop Lefebvre

 

What do you do at the end of Mass?

 

0 -Make a beeline for the parking lot
0 -Remain in pew and chat with friends
0 -Participate in small synod groups
5 -Leonine prayers and Thanksgiving
5 -Pray the Rosary or go to Confession

 

TEST COMPLETE.  Now add up your total schism points and record your SSAT score here _____ [Tell us your score in the comments!]

 

If you scored 0, you are schism free and no further action is required. If you scored up to 10, you may have schismatic behaviors which should be curtailed.

 

If you scored above 10, you are an adherent to schism and you must contact your local bishop for additional assessment and remedial action. You will be required to renounce Catholicism, profess faith in the conciliar church and burn incense to synodality.

 

Folks, this canonical action of Rome against the Society of Saint Pius X is an absolute farce and fiasco. Rome has overplayed its hand, not knowing one hand from the other, and exposed its own incompetence.

 

The Last Word: Hey Rome, we support SSPX and adhere to their profession of faith and assessment of Vatican II errors! Please send us an official decree of our excommunication, care of Remnant Newspaper.https://www.remnantnewspaper.com/diocesan-priest-mocks-sspx-excommunications/

St Christina of Bolsena. Martyr
Carlo Dolci


St Christina, please pray for the Church