CONFESSIONS OF AN ELDERLY MULTIGRAVIDA

White-hot with anger at the publication in yesterday's Dominion Post of three sob stories from abortion victims (and I don't mean the babies), in response to the request fron 'Stuff' to 'submit your story', I did just that. Just now.


'I was pregnant at my daughter's wedding. 

Sounds like something out of the Woman's Weekly. That's because the only mags provided where pregnant women waited for attention 27 years ago was, and probably still is, the WW, Woman's Day and  New Idea.

So after 7 months of loitering outside specialists' offices and hospital facilities, what I laughingly referred to as my brain was stuffed with royal scandals, television presenters and medical trauma, couched in terms like "I'm an elderly multigravida". 

Confessions of an elderly multigravida was the title of the feature story I was asked to write for North and South magazine, at a time when late pregnancies were still rare.

I was pregnant for the seventh time, following two miscarriages, at age 46. I'd refused amniocentesis: no point. As 'im indoors told a preggie friend who thought she was elderly (at only 39) and underwent an amnio with dread, "We'll take what comes".

My  mother's two sisters both had Down syndrome babies. In their forties. I read somewhere that for couples over 40 but still, like us, stuck with their original partner (how unenterprising) the chance of Down syndrome babies was one in 10 because apparently, such unfortunates have sex so rarely. 

The radiographer was a friend, who knew better than to suggest amnio; she knew I'd argued with her brother about abortion, quoting the "Father of Foetology", Sir William Liley, who finally committed suicide, in despair I suppose at his country's nihilistic attitude in passing the infamous CS&A Act. Liley maintained that abortion is never justified. 

I told our specialist if we had a handicapped baby, with God's help we'd cope. My engaged daughter wasn't so glib. She knew witty people would ask if she was planning on a baby to keep her mother company. She said to me, "If it's handicapped we'll have to look after it". I felt sicker than ever.

We lived an hour and a half away from Palmerston North Hospital and the services of my specialist. My grown-up sons pointed out that our aged Rover was suited to an emergency delivery in the Manawatu Gorge, the upholstery being blood-red. 

"This babe doesn't want to leave her mother," said my obstetrician. And in the end, two weeks late, I delivered my healthy, perfect, beautiful daughter myself.

The 'only daughter' status of her big sister was surrendered only reluctantly, and not till after she gave birth herself - to twins. I remember her little sister telling me, four years later, that "It's not easy for a child of four, to be an aunt to twins", but aunt she was. 

Ten years later, she would become godmother to the twins' little brother - whose name, incidentally, means 'gift of God'. That would have been the right name, in the eyes of her parents, siblings, whanau and friends, for his godmother, my daughter, my joy.

At a party not long after her birth a friend, a pillar of our community known to many as sober and wise, but to a privileged few as drunk and wiser, went down on his knees to put his arms round me and my baby. He announced he was going to cry. 

"Isn't this magic?" he asked. "This is all that matters in life."

In vino veritas.'

Adelie Reid says:

Blessings all round for those who have faith.. And as for Sir William Liley., I still have the fondest childhood memories of him coming to stay.

I say:
You were privileged, as I was, to know that man. God rest his soul. Paul Collits says:

What a wonderful delightful story.

I say:

Thank you … but wait, there's more. I thought I might as well post the whole N&S feature.

'Anonymous' II says:

	I didn't know Sir William Liley committed suicide.. that's so tragic. I was told by a lady once that she had amnio because if there was anything wrong with the baby then they would abort it as they didn't want the older sibling having to look after her younger sibling later in life. I could happily tell her about my husbands sister who has Downs Syndrome and how we love looking after her. She has given so much love to our family - people just don't get it. I say: Why not submit your story about caring for your lovely sister-in-law with Down syndrome? Why should we let the peddlers of death, doom and destruction of our civilization go unchallenged?
	'Anonymous II' says: I too read that article in the Dompost. I too am very angry - is this what passes as journalism nowadays. Should I respond with a complaint to the broadcaster; or try to find some of the many women who regret their abortions to speak out and submit their story? Turning to the weekend magazine that comes with the paper - the columns by the husband and wife comedians - the narrative gets worse. Every time I get really angry and want to cancel my subscription - I think who will take them to task? As an aside Julia - check out the Dompost article by Glenn McConnell which was reposted to the Metropolitan Cathedral of Wellington Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/MCSHWellington/?ref=search&__tn__=%2Cd%2CP-R&eid=ARCzvY5qdfnDQ7XiKAb7tWSbWQ6P0fXMJdiU3GftKs1VO662uhH5wik6pHxDKOpxHPXnC7gDiRW4wdTS I say: I did check out the Wellington Cathedral's Facebook Page and found an article by Glenn McConnell titled 'Will the one Christian God please stand up?" which is highly offensive to any faithful Catholic. What was the context of its posting, do you know? was it posted with the approval of Wgtn Cathedral?