For the first time ever, I'm posting a pic on my blog. These flowers, (the dahlia 'Bishop of Llandaff', in my garden) are suggestive of the beauty and fragility of human life, ended so often before it even emerges into the light of day, by abortion.
I read the following first-hand, unedited account of tragedy and hope in 'Broken Branches', a newsletter from Anne Lastman of Melbourne, who works full-time and full-on counselling victims of abortion.
You never see these stories of trauma and tragedy in the mainstream media. Their head-in-the-sand stance, their avoidance of reality, is one of the reasons why newspapers and magazines are going down the tube.
'ABORTION AND SUICIDE - by Bec Clarke (not her real name).
I
am a recovering post abortive mother. Not aI – Apr/May
2016
professional,
but a living example. I have had four (4) abortions in my time and have
experienced ubsequent severe mental health issues. I have been in locked ward
facilities in psychiatric hospitals under the mental health Act. I have been
labelled as being psychotic, manic, depressed, anxious, and delusional and many
many more things.
Before
my first abortion at age 18 and half I had suffered depression, but mildly.
Within hours of waking up in that abortion clinic, anxiety had set in to the
max. Within weeks I was so clinically depressed I wasn’t talking, eating, or
sleeping hardly at all. Within six months I had attempted suicide three times
in the space of three weeks and was hospitalised. I was put on one of the
strongest anti‐psychotic medications ever made and underwent 7 treatments of
ECT Electro Convulsive Therapy treatments. That friends, was only the very
beginning of a very long journey.
It
occurred to me many years later that I had crossed that line with my first
abortion.. Once you are on the other side of that line it is so easy to be swayed
into further abortions. “I am a murderer anyway” “killed one, why not this one”
“I’m going to hell anyway” Progressing from there, I feel, in retrospect that killing
myself was the ultimate solution to my constant pain. “I KILLED MY BABY
THEREFORE I CHOOSE TO KILL MYSELF” “I will do God’s work for Him” “An eye for
an eye.” But, attempting suicide puts you over yet another line you can’t
return from. Once you have faced death so intimately your mind never lets you
forget. Something trivial may happen and your immediate thought is “may as well
kill myself.” So intricately linked are abortion, mental illness and suicide in
my life that I was coerced into my second abortion as I tried killing myself
while I was pregnant but didn’t know it. I had overdosed on pills and was told
that the baby would be deformed. They also played themental health card “IT will be taken away OFF you at birth” So
intimately linked in me are pregnancy and mental health that with each
subsequent pregnancies (I have had five in total) I have become psychotic
almost immediately. Twice I have been hospitalised for psychosis, only to find
out that I was pregnant. With my youngest daughter I knew I was psychotic so I took
a home pregnancy test and my gut instinct was correct.
I have
attempted suicide over 10 times and I believe without the abortions in my story
there would have been no attempts. Abortion is death. Suicide is death.
Perhaps if
we stop allowing abortion the suicide rate would also go down.
Submitting
to the death of my own flesh and blood sets me up for suicidal ideation and
attempts. It set me up because I had already been complicit in a death. I
considered myself a murderer. My life had no meaning or value (“I have killed
my baby”) A violent act has taken place against my body‐why not another one
(suicide). Once done that will alleviate all my heartache and constant misery.
I was so
traumatised by my abortions that I, in total, tried killing myself 10 plus
times. But it’s not just the attempts. It’s the suicidal thoughts, ideas,
thinking. The amount of times I have
planned to kill myself, written the suicides
notes, agonised over the details and then presented at psych wards to be
admitted.
I have
dreamt of suicide. I have longed for suicide attempts to work. I have woken up
in intensive care angry as hell that I had been saved. Then comes the shame.
Which is all pervasive. “I am a piece of sh…t I can’t even kill myself!” “I’m even
useless at this. I can’t even accomplish this...”
Having
crossed that initial line (my first abortion) having suffered severe pain and grief that I
crossed yet another line, (first suicide attempt) I concluded that in my
experience that my first experience of death lead to my next experience of
death.
Abortion is
strongly tied to my suicide ideation and attempts and sadly at times maybe even
completed suicides. Looking back with a clearer perspective and having had much
work with counselling and healing, I know that I was “longing for the release
of death, yet yearning for the bounty of life”
mental health card “IT will be taken away OFF you at
birth”.
So intimately linked in me are pregnancy and mental
health that with each subsequent pregnancies (I have
had five in total) I have become psychotic almost
immediately. Twice I have been hospitalised for
psychosis, only to find out that I was pregnant. With
my youngest daughter I knew I was psychotic so I
took a home pregnancy test and my gut instinct was
correct.
I have attempted suicide over 10 times and I believe
without the abortions in my story there would have
been no attempts. Abortion is death. Suicide is death.
Perhaps if we stop allowing abortion the suicide rate
would also go down.
Submitting to the death of my own flesh and blood
sets me up for suicidal ideation and attempts. It set
me up because I had already been complicit in a
death. I considered myself a murderer. My life had no
meaning or value (“I have killed my baby”) A violent
act has taken place against my body‐why not another
one (suicide). Once done that will alleviate all my
heartache and constant misery.
I was so traumatised by my abortions that I, in total,
tried killing myself 10 plus times. But it’s not just the
attempts. It’s the suicidal thoughts, ideas, thinking.
The amount of times I have planned to kill myself,
written the suicides notes, agonised over the details
and then presented at psych wards to be admitted.
I have dreamt of suicide. I have longed for suicide
attempts to work. I have woken up in intensive care
angry as hell that I had been saved. Then comes the
shame. Which is all pervasive.
“I am a piece of sh…t I can’t even kill myself!” “I’m
even useless at this. I can’t even accomplish this...”
Having crossed that initial line (my first abortion)
having suffered severe pain and grief that I crossed
yet another line, (first suicide attempt) I concluded
that in my experience that my first experience of
death lead to my next experience of death.
Abortion is strongly tied to my suicide ideation and
attempts and sadly at times maybe even completed
suicides. Looking back with a clearer perspective and
having had much work with counselling and healing, I
know that I was “longing for the release of death, yet
yearning for the bounty of life”.'
I
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